In Which Harry Reid Tries to Secure the Creepy Old Man Demographic

Know what's a lot of fun? Witchcraft. Whoops, wrong kind. I, of course, meant this kind of Witchcraft. Yep, I love me some Sinatra. Sure do.

I'm going to come right out and say this: I don't like old people. Especially if they are from Nevada. Especially if they are the Senior Senator from Nevada, who also happens to be the Senate Majority Leader. And especially if his or her name just happens to be Harry Reid.

I'd like to apologize to old people for that last paragraph. It was highly insensitive and I'm very sorry that I wrote it. Old people are the backbone of our society and it's also really fun to see them hurt themselves. Anyways, I'm sorry, old people, for carelessly insinuating that Harry Reid represents all of you.

So on to Harry Reid. What a guy. What a swell, swell guy (if, by "swell, swell guy" I actually mean "miserable canker sore inside the cheek of American politics"). But it's not just that he's terrible, though he is pretty darn terrible. But that's not why I'm writing this really stupid post.

More than talk about how terrible he is, it is much more important that we all agree on how gosh darn creepy he is. This is an issue that I predict will bring together men, women, blacks, whites, Hawaiians, Greeks, Sunnis, Shiites, the French, the Belgians, and even the women of The View.

Exhibit A: Chris Coons is "my pet."

Exhibit B: Kirsten Gillibrand is "the hottest member" of the Senate.

No, stop laughing. This guy really is the head honcho of the United States Senate. I know, I know he looks like the guy who greets you every time you walk into Wal-Mart. But really, he's The Best guy in the world to be running the upper house of the U.S Congress. Yep.

h/t to this dude for the picture.

Delaware's Not the Only Place with a Wacky Election Going On

You guys know that I just love, love, love talking about that Delaware Senate race, but today I'm not really going to mention that after just mentioning it in both the title of this post and the first sentence of it.

Today, let's take a look at my local Congressional race, in the 11th District of Illinois. The incumbent, a fairly awful career politician named Debbie Halvorson (D), is running for re-election against the Republican challenger Adam Kinzinger, a decorated veteran and all around good samaritan. A video is now on youtube of demonstrators carrying around signs depicting Kinzinger, along with Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, all wearing Hitler mustaches.

I'm just speculating here, but I'll bet any money that these demonstrators were sent by some union or political operation, because it's Illinois. That's just how we do it here. And if we take it as a given that these guys are from a union, this video gives us an important insight into the minds of the unions and the rest of the Democratic Party's rank-and-file. They know they're fucked. It seems like no matter how much ammo the Republicans give them, the Democrats don't know how to fire the gun. So they have to resort to putting Hitler mustaches on the picture of a war hero just because he's daring to run against the sainted Debbie Halvorson.

Yup. The Democrats are screwed. They know it. The American people know it. And barring some kind of unforeseen Republican scandal that may happen in the future, Washington will be colored red next year.

Update: Ah, more union thugs, deliciously taken apart by Andrew Breitbart:

Hey, maybe the crazy wingnut tea partiers have a point about squishy RINO's?

Alright, so remember how that whole Delaware Senate race thing is really, really important? Well, it's not. Christine O'Donnell is a less-than-perfect conservative candidate, no doubt. But who cares? Not this guy.

The only thing that matters in this whole clusterfark is the debate among conservatives about what it means to be a conservative. That's it. Of course, that debate raises the question about whether or not RINO's (look it up, if you don't know) should be welcome into the tent or whether or not Mark Levin is causing more damage than those he condemns. Those are fun questions to ask. So let's ask them. Okay, voice inside my head:

1. Should RINO's be allowed into the Republican Party and/or the Conservative Movement? Please explain.

I don't know, so shut up. Okay okay, I'll answer it. Isn't it weird how the "true conservatives" are always talking about how the squishy RINO's are just a bunch of corrupt, power-hungry dirtbags that only care about getting re-elected. Well, isn't it time we agreed that the "true conservatives" are kind of right? I'll let Jim Geraghty explain:

Between Arlen Specter, Charlie Crist, Mike Castle refusing to endorse O’Donnell — a forgivable sentiment the day after a bitter defeat, less so as time goes by — and the rumor that Murkowski is running, the RINO-hunters have a point that the moderates never seem to be willing to compromise or put the party’s interest first.

Well, the thing regarding Murkowski isn't just a rumor anymore. She's running as a write-in candidate for her Senate seat against Joe Miller, a conservative endorsed by Sarrahcuda herself. Murkowski is a political hack, just like the others listed by Geraghty. Maybe, just maybe, the "true conservatives" have a point.

2. Is Mark Levin causing more damage than those he condemns?

Levin, Hannity, Rush, and other talk radio hosts, are extremely vital to the national conservative discussion, because their shows are representative of what millions and millions and millions (and millions) of conservatives are thinking.

The conservative movement is a huge conglomeration of groups, organizations, charities, pundits, think tanks, magazines, and other media outlets. Every single member of the conservative movement is important, from Mark Levin, to his listener's, to Patterico, to Andrew Breitbart, to the Heritage Foundation, and everyone in between. We all matter.

People of various political stripes are going to disagree. But even people with a similar philosophy still have disagreements about central tenets, policies, and politicians that make up our movement. That's healthy. No one needs to be purged, well, accept for the RINO squish politicians themselves. I mean, they just suck.

In which we all get outraged about something. I know, shocker.

Hey there, kids. I've just been on a ten day coke binge in Vegas with a stripper named Barbie and now I'm on the run from the cops because I've just killed three people and stolen a package of condoms. But enough about me, did you hear that there's some kind of Senate race thing going on in Delaware? There sure is. And did you know that the Republican nominee Rosie O'Donnell may or may not be some crazy ass Christian chick that wants the government to regulate masturbation? Or, at least that's what I glean from reading the twitter feed of my old algebra teacher.

Anyways, I guess there's been some kind of argument about this chick. I personally don't get what the fuss is about, but apparently this is something of UNIVERSAL IMPORTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And because this thing is SOOOO important, it is totally worth purging certain individuals from the conservative movement if they have the wrong opinion about Ms. O'Donnell. Those ousted include MC Rove, Patterico (a conservative blogger and Los Angeles Deputy District Attorney), John McCormack (a pretty solid reporter for the Weekly Standard), and Charles Krauthammer.

I find all this turmoil among the punditocracy to be far more interesting than the actual election, which is really boring. And creepy.

So basically, this proves that the whole "epistemic closure" nonsense about the Right was complete nonsense. There seem to be a bunch of different righties screaming every which way about this dumb election in Delaware. Who cares about Delaware?

So anyway, this is just one more reason why the Republicans don't really deserve to be put back into power. They can't grow up. They can't just say, "Hey, let's not be outraged about something this week. Let's just chill and figure out an agenda and then sit back and let the Democrats flail about and dig their own ditches." That's what I'd do! And I'm in college, so I know something!

In which I announce my triumphant return to talking to myself on this blog that nobody reads, yet.

It's been a bit since I've blogged. For a lot of reasons, most of them extraordinarily dull that mainly have to do with me being too damned lazy to write this public diary that gets no traffic whatsoever, even though I'm aware that the only possible way I'll ever get readership will be if I start churning out more and more of these little screeds. Lord, that was a long sentence.

But there's other reasons, too. For one thing, the news is really depressing. I guess I've always known this, but for some reason probably having to do with a nationwide shortage of brain cells, I've become much more depressed at the state of the world than usual. And that's saying a lot.

What reason do I have to be so down in the dumps? None, really. My home life isn't problematic, the Republicans are doing well in the election thus far, and my dog is asleep on my foot. Ah! I think I've stumbled across the problem, and it isn't that I'm losing feeling in my toes.

This entire year, I've been waiting like a little kid on Christmas morning for the GOP to have the come to Jesus moment (no, not this one); the moment where they realize that they need to focus on real economic progress, such as a restoration of a free market into a country that has let the government grow to unprecedented levels. But I haven't really seen anything from most of the GOP that makes me approach the midterms with any ease, and while it is likely (at the moment) that the Republicans will do well in November, I am very skeptical about the long term state of this country.

While I can't imagine the Republicans possibly doing a worse job than the current ruling class, I can't imagine them really getting their hands dirty about fixing America's myriad problems for the long haul. I assume that, if elected, they'll cut taxes and spend a lot of time trying to repeal Obamacare. But will they cut spending? Will they reform Medicare and Social Security and Medicaid? Probably not, because those issues are not popular with the Republican base, even though they are necessary towards insuring a bright and prosperous society for my generation and my prospective children's generation and my possible grandchildren's generation.

So while I have been encouraged by the tough actions taken by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels to belt tighten and shrink the size of government, the Republican Party as a whole is depressing me wholly, and I fear that they'll continue to depress me next year and the year after that. Simply put, they are not willing to make the political decision to talk frankly with the people of this country about the sacrifices we all need to make. Less government means less services and fewer public employees and a lesser grip that the unions have on commerce. That's what it means, and anyone in the Republican party not committed to less government in our lives is part of the problem and not part of the solution.

I have many many subjects that have depressed me lately. The current state of the Republican party going into this election is merely one of them. I'll talk about the rest later. Not that you care.

The Inevitable End of the Day Outrage From Keith Olbermann

Oh, don't act like you didn't know it was coming. This is a settled part of the American media complex. Every time we have some sort of incredibly controversial controversy that outrageously outrages soooo many people on soo many different sides of the political aisle, there are just certain things that you can expect from various media personalities.

Okay, so if you're reading this, you probably know all about this whole Ground Zero Mosque thing. But in case you haven't heard about it, I'll tell you everything you need to know. Some people are trying to open up a mosque in the same area in which the 9/11 Attacks occurred in New York City. Some people are really, really mad about it. And the political and media class are trying to defend the so called "Victory Mosque" by employing a straw man argument. No one is saying that the government should stop the mosque from opening up (okay, at least no one of any importance). All that most people are saying is that the guys who are opening the mosque are jerks. No one is trying to take away their right to private property.

But that's not what the media and the political class are saying. According to most of that group, people who oppose the Ground Zero Mosque are racists and Islamophobes. And yes, that means that nearly 70% of the public must be racists and Islamophobes.

There have been all sorts of things said about this controversy by so many different people. But here's just a small sample of the things said about this kerfuffle just today.

First-- Harry Reid disembarks from the liberal plantation.

Then-- Chris Christie becomes the New Maverick.

Next-- General Patton tells Christie to get the hell out of the middle of the road.

And now, the creme de la creme-- Olbie's Special Comment on the whole shebang.

Tonight and tomorrow, conservative blogs will mock Olbermann for everything that we should mock him for. Then some other controversy will start and we'll do it all over again.

Progressives Want You To Know How Much They Really, Really Hate Tea Parties

So begins the angriest and most out-of-touch attempt yet to discredit the Tea Parties.

Yes, the best and brightest minds on the left got together, and the finest name they could come up with was the "Fuck Tea" campaign. Ooooh. They used a bad word. We simply must take them seriously now.

Seriously, I understand that the left really really thought that, two years ago, they had succeeded in accomplishing their half-century long master plan of moving the country vastly to the left. But they mistook the anti-Bush backlash as some kind of sweeping mandate for Cap 'n Trade, card check, the federal takeover of college loans, and all the other Democrat wish list items leftover from the pre-Carter era.

But the progs just don't get it. They really really think that there is some kind of silent majority of leftists that agree with them and that the Tea Partiers are just a bunch of corporate toadies/populist morons that actually don't represent what a lot of mainstream, independent Americans are thinking about the state of government at this time.

The leftie doublethink is setting in about how the Tea Partiers are both stooges for mustache-twirling Wall Street fatcats and, simultaneously, a bunch of racist redneck sister-marry'ers that keep asking questions about the birth certificate of the President. And while this false narrative intrigues to no end the Democrat netroots, it doesn't play with most of the American people, who realize that the government has just gotten too darned big.

If progressives don't realize that the American people are just not that into them, they're marching like George Armstrong Custer towards his demise at Little Bighorn, and I'm not going to go to great lengths to stop them from doing so.